AWAKE!

Right before the weekend, I emailed my biology parents about the unacceptable indoctrination threatening their children in my school district. Even though I was choosing to trust God’s plan, I wanted to be as prepared as I could for the consequences of my actions. Once a girl scout, always a girl scout. I updated my resume and sent it to an amazing private Christian school near me. They had a solid reputation for putting God first and keeping Scripture as their foundation. It would be so nice to not feel like I needed to filter my Faith. So many times, when teaching science, I have had Scripture on the tip of my tongue and refrained from mentioning it, to avoid potential backlash later. The Christian school wasn’t hiring at the moment, but I emailed my resume anyway. Here I am, God. Send me.

I prayed for God’s direction as I sent my resume out. The very next day, I had an email asking to interview me. I took this as assurance from God that He was going to carry me no matter what happened. I quickly responded and set an interview for the following week. Everything seemed to be falling into place seamlessly. Could taking a stand be this easy?

By Sunday, I had messaged my pastor and his wife about everything that had transpired. My church prayer warriors surrounded me and prayed over me. We were a growing army now trusting God with what was becoming clear as the beginning of a battle. As I stood there in the middle of outstretched arms and hearts, I had an overwhelming feeling that there was so much more to do and I would need to roll up my sleeves and be ready to work hard. Even five years ago, I would have been too afraid to put my paycheck and reputation at risk. When my son passed away, though, it was my mother who added some new perspective to my life. She reminded me that everything we accumulate is temporary and can’t go with us when we die. Our time in these bodies is such a tiny blip on our eternal radar. When we go home to God, it will not matter how high we climbed the ladder at our job or how fancy our belongings are, or how decorated our children are. The only thing we will take with us is how we loved God and others. How much do I love my students? Enough to do whatever I can to protect them from this worldly indoctrination? The answer to these were surprisingly complicated as I walked out of an amazing interview with the Christian school. I felt so torn and desperately needed some clear direction from God. Time to hit your knees again, sister.

The next week at school, I was summoned to the principal’s office. Even though this is a person I am honored to serve under, who runs our school with patience and amazing poise at all times, I was sweating like a teenager and silently praying all the way there. It was a long walk, so I managed to go through Psalm 23, Philippians 4:6, and several pleas for peace and wisdom. I knew what this was about and would own my actions. As she closed the door, I quickly rehearsed my polite acceptance of being canned. Instead, she sat down, smiled and assured me that she had no intention of losing me and was equally concerned with the content of the curriculum I was opposing. I had already informed her that I would not continue working there if the curriculum was forced. She assured me that she had carefully formed a plan to meet my requests because she valued me as a teacher and did not want to lose me. Thank you, God, for this woman!

I walked back to my classroom and taught my next class with an ear-to-ear grin. God was clearly in charge and I felt so safe and relieved. When I realized I would not have to leave my amazing, sweet students, I sat in my empty classroom and wept. These students have been burned into my heart. They have their whole lives ahead of them and look at me with big eyes and share with me their even bigger hearts and dreams. They have taught me patience and compassion on a level I didn’t know existed before I began teaching. I can have a rotten start to my day and then my students instantly turn it around with their funny antics and the innocence they try so hard to pretend isn’t there. They are a true source of joy for me.

If you are a teacher and are struggling to find joy in your job, I would like to offer you this: A wise person once said that whatever you expect from a child will not leave you disappointed. In my third year of teaching, I decided to expect only the best from my students every day, to assume that they would be amazing in their behavior and their work. I would enter the building, smile at everyone, exclaim what a wonderful day it was, and let my joy well up and spill out on everyone around me…every day. Love is messy, folks! Warning…if you stand close enough to me, you WILL get sticky with joy. I noticed some other teachers seemed to be equally as happy and it was encouraging. Then, I noticed something phenomenal. Most teachers will testify that there is a noticeable depressing cloud that drags teachers down as Christmas break approaches. Faces are battle worn as teachers sink into survival mode. Teaching is not for the faint of heart. But that year, teachers were still smiling after Thanksgiving and exclaiming how few fights there had been and how wonderful the atmosphere was in our school. God was working there and it was exciting to watch. Proverbs 15:13 says, “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken.” If we want our students to be filled with joy and peace, we must first show them what that looks like. We must choose joy, so that they may recognize it on our faces.

“Some things have happened…”, she said. I had just sent a letter, exposing some worldly indoctrination in our school system, to the parents of my biology students a few days before and now it was my turn to receive a shocking email. Since my expository email, I had been receiving several responses thanking me for the information and for taking a risk reporting deceit and destructive measures within the school system. But this email was different and proved to be the beginning of a sweet friendship…two mothers fighting for our children’s innocence.

Her email begged me to call as soon as possible. I immediately called and a very excited woman answered, “I hope you’re not mad, but I kind of sent your email to someone.” She was practically breathless and kept apologizing. She had sent my email to her friend, Glenn Beck. She hadn’t expected him to read my email on his radio show the next day and was now worried about my response. I have always maintained that I shouldn’t have anything to hide if I am living in God’s will. That doesn’t mean I always adhere to that wisdom, but it is merely what I strive for. I assured my new friend that I was honored that he gave my letter such attention. She told me that something big had started and I was a part of it. I didn’t put much thought toward that statement, as I really only expected some surprised parents and a possible demotion or loss of job. Don’t misunderstand my calm words in response to the thought of losing my job. It would certainly cause financial trouble for my family. However, I learned a long time ago how useless dramatic exclamations are. Yelling and begging for sympathy is what one does when they do not expect help. My hope and trust is in God, so I don’t need to worry about my future. God WILL provide. I assumed that my warning to the parents would fizzle out as old news and be lost in a sea of other ignored moments of bravery from past teachers. I assumed my voice would be unheard or quickly dismissed and certainly wasn’t giving God the trust He deserves.

That evening, I came home to a peaceful and empty house. Although I cherish every moment my husband and children are around me, I sometimes appreciate those moments when they are all away at work and I am able to spend some time in silence. I opened up the radio broadcast and found the time marker my friend gave me, and I listened. I sat and cried as Glenn Beck said some of the kindest words, and as he encouraged people to step up their support for teachers everywhere. My letter was supposed to encourage parents and assure them that they were trusted to know what was best for their child. I wanted to restore their authority and confidence as parents. That is something public schools have cruelly stripped away from them. So many parents have been duped for so long into believing that they are not good enough and should just let the schools raise their children. Glenn Beck was extending my message further than I could have imagined. I immediately wrote him a reply thanking him for sharing my letter.

The next day, the same mother was texting me and urging me to watch Glenn Beck’s show again. He was reading my reply! I had assured him that I was not afraid to share my name and my actions. Now I watched, from my empty classroom, as he paused for a small eternity and then uttered my name. Now it was out there. I knew there was no turning back and immediately thanked God for the opportunity to take a bold stand against evil. Jesus cherished children so much that He encouraged us to be like them. As soon as Glenn Beck said my name I became aware that a revival was about to begin and I was being called to the front to fight. Whatever happens from here, I will see this battle through until God sends me elsewhere.

The Curriculum…that was the subject line in the email I sent to my pastor, the email that contained the most shocking and sickening information I had ever encountered in public education. I am a high school biology teacher in my fourth year of teaching in Oklahoma. When I first began my teaching career, I was unsure if I was even going the direction God wanted for me. My 18 year old son had just died in a tragedy I will wait to share another time. But, because of that fresh and excruciating loss, I had a mission from day one of my new job to make a difference. By the end of my first year, I wondered how I could have made such a monumental error in judgement. Clearly I was insane to take on 5 classrooms full of teenagers. Then, I fell in love with them…every single eye-rolling, dramatic, sensitive, dreaming, scheming, beautiful one of them! By the end of the second year (I don’t give up easily) I knew that I would give them my very best every day and protect them at every possible opportunity. They may as well have been my own children because I loved them just as much.

As a science teacher, I was aware that there might come a time when I would be called upon to include sexual education in my teaching. After all, human reproduction is the reason the students learn about genetics, heredity, and inheritance…so they know how more generations happen. I love science. God made it and it is chaotic and beautiful! I knew if I was asked, it would be an opportunity to deliver the instruction with discretion and an emphasis on the beautiful design of our Creator. During my first three years at that school, the students would be pulled out of class for a couple of days and sent to the auditorium. When they returned, I would spend the next few days cleaning up sperm-shaped foam stress balls and packages of condoms from my classroom floor. Honestly, that should have been my first red flag, but I was still figuring out my teaching style and learning how to reach my students effectively.

At the beginning of year four, last fall, the teachers were switching to distance learning in compliance with our city’s Covid-19 regulations. Our curriculum was in a new form and I began reviewing it as soon as the lessons were released to us. You usually learn in your first year how bad things can go if you offer lessons you have not reviewed ahead of time. (Let me just testify that a title containing the words “high school lesson” does not always mean it is entirely appropriate for high schoolers…lesson learned!) Toward the end of the first semester’s lessons, there was a large note telling us we were required to set aside two weeks (yes, two weeks) right before Christmas break for sexual education instruction, but there were no lessons included.

Right away, I asked my administration what my role would be. Would I be teaching the lessons myself or would they teach the students outside of my class like in the past? If I would be teaching, I asked that I be given access to the curriculum as soon as possible, so I could prepare for effective delivery. I was told not to worry about it and that I would simply upload the preset lessons onto my online classroom page and attend the zoom meetings while someone else from the health department taught them. Whoah, hold on. Something didn’t feel right, so I pressed for access to the lessons again. I explained that anything on my classroom page would suggest to my students that I endorsed the material. I needed to review the material before I could endorse it. After repeated, unanswered requests and about two weeks before the class was to begin, they finally made the curriculum available (only to teachers) to upload and I immediately opened it to start looking through the lessons.

I made it about 5 minutes into the introduction video before I pressed the pause button. I needed to take a breath. Within those first five minutes, the video had introduced several supposed genders (I’m a biologist and know the absurdity of that teaching) and defined just as many different sexual orientations, described exploring and embracing different sexual orientations in high school as sexually healthy, and led them through a meditation exercise that encouraged them to imagine being a different gender or sexual orientation and how good that might feel. I summoned the nerve to view the rest of the lessons. Although there was helpful information here and there, it was embedded in message after message of worldly thinking that violated Scripture. There was no way I was allowing this to be delivered to my students. It was harmful on many levels. It would be child abuse to deliver it. I sat there shaking and cried as I told my husband that I was about to do something that could cost me my job. He agreed that I could not be silent. Thank you, God, for my husband.

I immediately texted my principal and told her I refused to allow the sex ed curriculum in my class, and that if it was placed on my site against my wishes I would resign. Then, I had a moment of monumental bravery and composed a letter to the parents of my biology students. I told them that the school district was not being honest about what was being taught to their child and that much of the information was even hidden from parents. I also told them that they had the authority to decide what their children learned and, as a Christian, I could not keep this information from them. I offered them access to the lessons, so they could make their own informed decision about whether their student should or should not opt out. Then I pressed the send button. I knew what I was risking, but according to Matthew 18:6 my penalty for remaining silent would be so much worse than anything the world could do to me. I wasn’t sure what would happen next, but I was strangely unafraid and ready to see this through.